Life Strategies for Teens

"Are you as tired as I am of books constantly telling you about doing your best to understand your parents, doing your homework, making curfew, getting a haircut, dropping that hemline, and blah, blah, blah?"
-- Jay McGraw, from the Introduction

Well, you don't have to be anymore. Life Strategies for Teens is the first guide to teenage life that won't tell you what to do, or who to be, but rather how to live life best. Employing the techniques from Dr. Phillip C. McGraw's Life Strategies, his son Jay provides teens with the Ten Laws of Life, which make the journey to adulthood an easier and more fulfilling trip. Whether dealing with the issues of popularity, peer pressure, ambition, or ambivalence, Life Strategies for Teens is an enlightening guide to help teenagers not only stay afloat, but to thrive during these pivotal years.

Whether you are a teen looking for a little help, or a parent or grandparent wanting to provide guidance, this book tackles the challenges of adolescence like no other. Combining proven techniques for dealing with life's obstacles and the youth and wit of writer Jay McGraw, Life Strategies for Teens is sure to improve the lives of all who read it.

By the time Mr. Jay was done, he was no longer a teen, having reached the ripe old age of 20. But his memory of teenage perspectives is strong and salty.

Early in the book, he candidly points out that the teen did not buy this book. It was a gift from an adult, usually a parent. And that's a very good point -- one that I would like to comment on.

I suggest that you read this book before giving it to anyone. That may be its greatest benefit. Mr. Jay does a good job of taking on the key psychological, social, and developmental challenges of the teenage years. As you visit these points of view, you can begin to see how your teenager might see you.

For example, do you ever tell you teen stories about what it was like when you were your teen's age? I know I do. Mr. Jay points out that any self-respecting teen "knows" that those old lessons don't apply now. Times are much different and tougher now. Dad or Mom is just being "boring" again.

Do you ever interrupt your teen? Mr. Jay indicates that that means "that Mom or Dad doesn't ever listen to me." That can cut off the possibility of communication.

There's also a wonderful section on the roles that teenager's today choose to play (their social masks). All of a sudden it clicked. I saw each of our teenager's friends fitting neatly into one of these categories. I could suddenly predict how each would respond in any given situation. Wow! What a gift! Thank you, Mr. Jay!! What has happened is that a few new categories have been established since the Middle Ages when I was a teenager. I am very glad to get up-to-date.

The book itself follows Dr. Phil's 10 laws. You can read my reviews of Life Strategies and the Life Strategies Workbook if you want to know more about them.

Mr. Jay takes the perspective of what the payoff is from the teenage years. For example, he candidly points out that you can decide not to get good grades. But you have to understand that that means that you will get less respect from everyone, and have fewer choices after high school is over. Coming from a parent, that would have sounded preachy. Coming from Mr. Jay, it just sounds matter-of-fact.

Many teenagers are into not reading anything they don't have to, so I don't know how many will read this book. From a psychological point of view, it probably should have been positioned as something like "Have Great Teen Years Without Being Hassled by Your Parents and Friends." The book needs more rebellion against the convention wisdom to be appealing.

Regardless, it is great for us parents. Enjoy the examples, learn the role-playing, appreciate the angst, and avoid acting "boring." And by the time your teen is 24, you'll start to look pretty good in her or his eyes again. Be patient in the meantime.

If you have a pretty good relationship with your teen, a possible approach is to start doing Life Strategies yourself. Ask your teen if he or she would help you with the exercises in that book. As you open up about your issues, hopes, and dreams, you may stimulate an interest in your teen. In the meantime, be sure you have a copy of this book around the house, and be perfectly open about reading it. Who knows what might develop next? You could possibly start a dialogue by asking your teen to tell you what the three things are that you do that most annoy your teen. Then, see if you can do better.

Communication is the most important bridge to your teenager's development. Keep building that bridge daily, in ways that your teenager likes!


A genuine key to success for teens!   December 4, 2000
Ellen Lee Sayles (McKinney, TX United States)
70 out of 76 found this review helpful

I snagged an advance copy of this book and my husband and I , parents of three teenage sons, read it without ever putting it down. Wow! My husband questioned whether a man of 20 tender years could take on such an important and difficult topic.We say the answer is a resounding "yes"! Not only are the 10 life strategies scientifically well grounded, young Jay McGraw was raised by these laws, while struggling with all the typical issues faced by teens. Who better to write this book.

Jay writes with amazing clarity and uses examples with which everyone will identify. The real surprise about this book is that its message applies to every life situation, whether problem solving or achieving goals. Also, it would be a mistake for parents to assume that it is only a "kid" book. Parents must read it to better understand their own teen, and who knows, they may learn application of the 10 life laws for themselves.

Great Job, Jay McGraw. Thank you for a contribution to teens and parents alike that is beyond measure.


Superb Workbook to Supplement Life Strategies for Teens   September 28, 2001
Professor Donald Mitchell (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 97,000 Helpful Votes Globally)
29 out of 30 found this review helpful

Please realize that the basic book that this workbook relates to is Life Strategies for Teens.... Without that book, this workbook will lose much of its ability to be helpful. My suggestion is that adults or teens read Life Strategies for Teens first. If you like that book, then get this workbook as well.

If you are buying Life Strategies for Teens as a gift for a teenager, I suggest that you also give the workbook at the same time. The workbook provides lots of questions, ways to develop ideas, and helpful projects that are designed to be done between reading fairly small segments of Life Strategies for Teens.

The workbook starts with ýA Quick Self-Checký of 12 revealing questions. You go on to write the story of your life. From there, you list stupid decisions, and consider what directed dreaming inspires you to think about. You self-examine which behaviors are working and not working for you. To help you ýget itý another section focuses you on models, skills you need, relationships, learning about other people, and breaking patterns that donýt work well for you.

The fun really begins when you list experiences you would like to have, and begin tracking when you have those experiences. You go on to learn more about what you stand for, reward yourself for doing what needs to be done, and change the way you think about and talk to yourself.

Diving deeper, you will consider how your beliefs may be making you blind to opportunities.

When you are ready, you will start making some important life decisions. Thereýs plenty of help for improving relationships, if thatýs part of whatýs needed.

Having developed that sense of focus, you go on to create your first life plan.

. . . And then the excitement really begins! Youýre on your way!

The whole project began with, "Dad, trust me, when it comes to teens, you don't get it!" Thus, Mr. Jay McGraw told his Dad, Dr. Phil McGraw, that Dr. Phil was violating his own first rule for Life Strategies, You Either Get It or You Don't. Mr. Jay had wanted to use Life Strategies to improve his own life, and found that it took him 6 years (from age 13 to age 19) to translate the lessons into a teen perspective that made sense to Mr. Jay. Mr. Jay was naturally appalled when he found that Dr. Phil had a book contract to do a book on Life Strategies for teens. The project was reborn in Mr. Jay's hands.

By the time Mr. Jay was done, he was no longer a teen, having reached the ripe old age of 20. But his memory of teenage perspectives is strong and salty.

Early in Life Strategies for Teens, he candidly points out that the teen did not buy this book. It was a gift from an adult, usually a parent. Thatýs why I suggested that the book and workbook be given together as a gift.

I suggest that you read Life Strategies for Teens before giving it to anyone. That may be its greatest benefit. Mr. Jay does a good job of taking on the key psychological, social, and developmental challenges of the teenage years. As you visit these points of view, you can begin to see how your teenager might see you.

Life Strategies for Teens follows Dr. Phil's 10 laws. You can also read my reviews of Life Strategies and the Life Strategies Workbook if you want to know more about those resources.

Mr. Jay takes the perspective of what the payoff is from the teenage years. For example, he candidly points out that you can decide not to get good grades. But you have to understand that that means that you will get less respect from everyone, and have fewer choices after high school is over. Coming from a parent, that would have sounded preachy. Coming from Mr. Jay, it just sounds matter-of-fact.

If you have a pretty good relationship with your teen, a possible approach is to start doing Life Strategies yourself. Ask your
teen if he or she would help you with the exercises in that book. As you open up about your issues, hopes, and dreams, you may stimulate an interest in your teen. In the meantime, be sure you have a copy of Life Strategies for Teens and this workbook around the house, and be perfectly open about reading them. Who knows what might develop next? You could possibly start a dialogue by asking your teen to tell you what the three things are that you do that most annoy your teen. Then, see if you can do better.

Communication is the most important bridge to your teenager's development. Keep building that bridge daily, in ways that your teenager likes!

Life Strategies for Teens   November 26, 2000
Carol A. March (Bonita Springs, Florida USA)
60 out of 67 found this review helpful

I picked up the book at the seminar in Orlando, Fl. for my 17 year old son. I read it and was so impressed that I wish I had bought one for every teen I know. It is poignant, easy to read and humorous. I believe "Life Strategies for Teens" goes straight to the core of every issue teens experience. Then it offers solutions. What a gift to our world of troubled teens. Thank you, Jay McGraw! Be sure that all of the teens in my life will find this book in their stocking this year. Thanks, Cam


Changed My Mindset & Thinking Habits   February 22, 2004
Kristen Alexis Marcano (Hamden, CT USA)
24 out of 27 found this review helpful

This book was quite excellent. As a thirteen-year-old girl, it sure got me in gear! My twelfth year was spent trying to fit in with the crowd, dismiss good grades, and wear tight clothing. Now, thanks to this book, I have newfound self-esteem, willpower, and goals which I am reaching one by one! My aunt, a huge fan of Dr. Phil, gave it to me for Christmas. I am already a different person. It helps so much with self-esteem issues, peer pressures, goal-setting and other teen dilemmas and issues.

I definitely recommend it to all teenagers who want to get their life in gear! It helps so much, but only if you allow it. This is not the kind of book that you can just skim through. You've got to read it and take action, take it to heart, in order for those Life Strategies to work in your life. I'm telling you, it's so helpful! Thanks Jay!

One last thing, however, I would like to direct to those who thought Jay McGraw was copycatting Dr. Phil's book- NO KIDDING! Where've you been? This book is the same as LIFE STRATEGIES, but it's just been rewritten for teenage understanding. And, also, the rich have their problems, too. Maybe Jay hasn't had to work hard for his popularity or money, but I'm sure it's obviously something he knows a lot about- THINK ABOUT IT! He has DR. PHIL for a father. Please try not to be so critical. Not everyone's perfect, and perfection is only in the eye of the beholder- there is no real perfection. No reality, just perception!